While I am waiting anxiously for my clothes to arrive, I started looking in the mirror. And while looking, i got bothered by something that never bothered me before. I am TOO skinny!
I knew I was underweight before, but it never did bother me. But I must have turned a switch along the recent changes I made, and now it bothers me. In a world where everyone pays attention to loosing weight, those who are underweight seem to be neglected.
And I have heard it all before from other people: Try doing nothing an entire week, eat more junkfood, do this and do that....
Trust me, that does not work, I have tried it all before. While it is easy for others to gain weight when they aren't paying attention, it isn't for those who have a fast metabolism.
So I set out to find some healty foodtips and tricks to gain weight. It was then that I ran into a site called SHtrainer. This website gives you a somewhat personalized diet and workout schedule based on your body type and your target weight. Does this work? I have no idea, but I will give it a go. I will make sure I'll let you know how things work out.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
A leap of faith
After 3 years of fantasizing and constant shifts between fear and fantasy, I finally forced myself and took a leap of faith. Last weekend I placed an order for my first set of lingerie online. As soon as I payed for it, I knew there was no turning back anymore. It's on its way over here, and now way for me to stop it.
Why is this forcing me to go trough with it? My biggest fear is getting caught when receiving packages. I live at home, so my parents have a general idea of what I'm receiving in the mail.
Does this mean I'll be coming out? Not at all, it just means I overcame a fear.
As soon as that first set was ordered, I felt relief. I felt as if I could do things now I couldn't before. So with that first order, came a second order, and a third, and so on. Right now, pieces of female clothing and a wig are on their way over here. I know I may have gone a little crazy while shopping, but it felt so liberating, and everything looked so great :D
So here I am, taking my first steps. How does it feel? Scary! But good at the same time :)
Why is this forcing me to go trough with it? My biggest fear is getting caught when receiving packages. I live at home, so my parents have a general idea of what I'm receiving in the mail.
Does this mean I'll be coming out? Not at all, it just means I overcame a fear.
As soon as that first set was ordered, I felt relief. I felt as if I could do things now I couldn't before. So with that first order, came a second order, and a third, and so on. Right now, pieces of female clothing and a wig are on their way over here. I know I may have gone a little crazy while shopping, but it felt so liberating, and everything looked so great :D
So here I am, taking my first steps. How does it feel? Scary! But good at the same time :)
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